I am 32yrs old. Most people my age met their significant other the traditional way (family introductions, work, school, etc). I personally met my ex online, in a chatroom. Back in that time, that was not the norm. I kept that story hidden for the longest time because it was taboo. We had an emotional connection but our initial intention was not to be in a relationship.
Nowdays online apps it’s one, if not, the most popular way of getting dates. I am no stranger to using the Internet to meet new people and establishing friendships or relationships with them, but I was hesitant to put myself out there. The thought of having people that know me personally being able to find me on this apps frightened me. One day, I decided to just give it a try.
The first app I created a profile on was Tinder. It was very basic (because I hate talking about myself) and included a few recent pictures and it was linked to my instagram profile. I started looking at profiles of guys around me. Initially I got addicted to the swiping game. Then I realized it seemed impossible that I got matched to so many guys.
When I started talking to few of them, I almost go crazy! I am used to super respectful guys that always try to get to know the girl they are talking to. Being naive in the online dating scene, my bubble was rapidly burst by a flow of sexual propositions and innuendo. “Send nudes” and “Hook up tonight?” were the initial messages I got.
The practical side of me was happy due to the fact that people will tell me right up front what they wanted and I could decide if I want to proceed or not. My analytical side, however, was confused. This behavior was not something I had experienced before and clearly had trouble assimilating. Not because I couldn’t accept guys did that, but mostly because an app was giving them the power to do something they would be less likely to do if they were meeting a girl face to face.
Later on I discovered online apps give people the ability to hide things and merely create their own persona behind a screen. I would say alter ego, but generally speaking an alter ego would bring out your best qualities and talents. In my experience, these characters were not elevating any of the above, on the contrary, they portrait a person that probably would not be well accepted by society standards.
I’ve had all kind of weird conversations and dates. When talking to friends about my dates, I always get asked how I meet these guys. One actually told me I should have a reality show, to which I giggled but deep inside me would totally do it. Then the idea of a blog came up.
It took me a while to decide if I really wanted to make my dating life public. At the end, I realized it shouldn’t matter. People are going to judge. Either way, it doesn’t affect me.
By sharing these stories, I hope to, not only entertain but help women on the dating scene by saying “Hey, some guys suck!”, but you gotta keep your head up.