Previously, I had mention I started dating before I officially got divorced. In my mind a divorced guy would totally understand what I was doing.
I got a message from Zac. Initially it was normal conversation until he asked me to go to his house to watch tv and get on his hot tub. I politely declined the offer and explained that I rather go to dinner to meet. I asked Zac what was he looking for on the site. His response perfectly matched my interest and the checklist I had. He said he was looking for a companion to spend time with because his job slows down in winter time. Not a relationship, check, do things together, check.
I should have seen that invite as a red flag, but I continued talking to him for about a week. On Halloween, we met for dinner. He went on and on about his job, how well he was doing, what he had etc. He works as a salesman for a home alarm company. I do not get impressed easily. I’m glad he accomplished all that, but that is not going to make me want him more. So I told him to stop talking about it. Overall, he seemed like a cool guy that had his life together.
Zac mentioned he has a daughter who lives with her mom in Utah. I asked him how often they saw each other to which he says he goes there once a month. In my selfish mind I knew I could not date anybody who has set plans a weekend of the month, especially to spend it with his ex wife. I didn’t know what happened between them and it was too early to ask more questions or assume anything, but I know this was not going to be alright with me. It’s way too easy to get involved with people you were in a previous relationship with. I saw it as they will definitely have some action going on those weekends. No thanks.
Oddly, I didn’t hear from him in a couple of days. I assumed he just did not want to talk to me anymore or he realized I was not really into him. Later, I noticed he had been messaging me on Tinder. We had exchanged numbers so it was random that he was doing that. I asked him what happened. His story was “I broke my iPhone and I’m waiting for a replacement on the mail”. I acted like I believe him but to my understanding you need a phone to get the app and message people. Maybe he had a tablet… I don’t know, I just did not believe his story.
I saw him a second time. I don’t want to get into the details but it was very strange. He was paranoid as he was hiding from somebody or scared of been seen with me. On my way home I received a message from him saying that he would like to see me after my divorce is finalized to which I gladly agreed.
Couple days go by and I received a call from him. I answered and a very feminine voice answered back. My pressure raised, my face got warm as I had a lady on the line yelling at me. My friends are familiar with my sarcastic, passive aggressive arguing technique which I immediately used on her. She started by asking me to stop “harrasing” Zac. It was she last thing I was expecting her to tell me. I was surprised to hear this because he was always the initiator, I laughed and proceed to tell her I will definitely stop. I also warned her I was not about to entertain her complaints and was going to hang up the phone. This comment made her furious and as she started to tell, I hung up. She called back, this time from her phone. I ignored the phone calls but I started receiving long text messages.
Obviously this guy was not divorced and was cheating on his wife. I have to give him credit because he was very creative on his lies. In order to make himself look good in her eyes, he told her I was stalking him. That’s why she asked me to stop harrasing me. As part of his story, I’m an older ugly woman who wants to have an adventure with him, because he is so great looking. I also had been asking him to have sex with me, everyday.
I couldn’t help to feel bad for her but because I’m not that girl that will argue for guys or give her side of the story, I decided to not reply.
On the other hand, Zac’s wife was insistent and determined to argue. I picked up her phone call. I didn’t let her talk and told her I absolutely hate drama. I assured her I was not going to contact Zac again. He was not somebody I would even want keep as a friend. When she finally had the chance to speak, she asked for my side of the story. Now was my turn to be evil. I could tell her the whole story, but instead I chose to say “There’s no side to the story, believe your husband” and hung up the phone.
To this day, I have not heard from either one. I told this story to some of my friends and the asked me why I didn’t tell his wife the truth. Well, I chose to let her believe what she wanted and realized she will never know what really happened.