This time I’m writing about a very personal thing. I have many dating stories to share but I want to write about July 28th. Well, it’s my blog after all.
Be aware of my strong language below.
This year would have been my 10th year wedding anniversary. And of course, I had my plans. I’ve had them for a while. I had my life planned. Obviously that changed.
Everybody deals with loss differently. I don’t see my divorce as a loss. I see it as gain. I gained myself back. Yes, I was sad at first. I cried. A lot. But I am in a better place. I can be myself. And right now he is with somebody at his level, because I was way too good for him.
I have aspirations and goals. I accomplish them and set higher ones. I’m optimistic, positive and ambitious. Not a conformist who just lives to work and thinks that fun is overrated. I believe in creating memories, stories not living a dull life.
I am proud of making him a better person. Thanks to me he got to experience things that he would never had. I pushed him to be the better version of himself. Too bad for him he needs that push to keep being like that. Now he is just himself, living his old simple life.
Many people will say I am a bitch because I’m writing this. And you are totally right. I am. But I was never like this, life had made me this way.
I rarely write virtual ramps but I feel like I could not let this one go. I just wasted years of my life that I can’t take back. I will admit, it wasn’t bad, but now that I see another perspective, I wish it never happened.
I do not even have a relationship with his family. In fact, nobody bother to ask me how I was doing, how sad is that? I was in this family for 13yrs of my life, we are in the process of divorce and NO ONE reached out to me. Very hypocritical of somebody that lied in my face when I confronted them asking why they had a problem with me by saying that they loved me, major BS.
There were several factors that made my marriage last so long. The most important was trust and freedom. I am sure he will never find anybody that gives him that. I was rarely jealous. You know why? Because I am secure on myself. I know who I am. There is nobody that is as confident as I am. Hence, there will be nobody that would give him the freedom I did. I trusted him. I had no reason not to. Nobody will be as chill. I’m unique.
As for the reason we divorced, it was NOT MUTUAL AGREEMENT like he said. He sat me down, said he didn’t love me anymore.
One week later he is talking to an “old friend” who is currently “living the fairy tale” or pretending, anyways.
Internet holds anything you post on it. You can build your perfect fake life. Or have your own fake Kingdom, like I do. Important dates can be made up. You can even fake your engagement or make people believe you have been together all these years and you have kids. It’s a fantasy. I live in reality, and that is that I was fooled. It hurt me that he was not man enough to tell me the truth upfront and that she also lied to me. Karma is a bitch, remember this.
The first thing a girl does when she finds out there is another woman is compare themselves to them or ask what does she have that I don’t. Well, as I mention before I’m unique, so there is absolutely no comparison, but if I must point out our differences, let’s start with the obvious ones.
- Different body type. Yea she is a bigger girl. Big is beautiful! Anyways, he made sure to tell me how sexy I was before running to her after doing married couple things.
- Not classy. I would never cross boundaries with a married man.
- Not smart. Married man talks to you, moves in with you. What makes you think he won’t do the same to you?
- Not confident. Definitely settles for others left overs, no self value.
- Jealous. She should be. I wonder if she met his other girl yet. I can provide her contact info. It’s not me who he texts anymore. He did called me baby and my love the last time we spoke, tho.
I could keep building this list but bottom line, I am way better than her. No doubt. But she is good enough for him. They see life the same way. That’s all it matter. I wish them the best. They can pretend they are happy together while he talks to girls on the side 🙂
I am glad I was raised by a fully functional family, not a twisted one. I have my values and aspirations thanks to them. I am the person I am because of them. Yes I took away some things from my now useless marriage but if it wasn’t because I was raised to be strong, I would have died of sorrow. I am sorry but my life is way more valuable that my ex’s or his new girl. They don’t have control over the way I feel. On the other hand, what happened made me take the step to file for divorce and control my life. He didn’t even had the balls to do that.
Now I am the best person I can be. I am 100% just looking out for myself and don’t have to worry about others.
I wish the end could have been sooner tho. That way I could make other decisions in my life without worrying about a person that now doesn’t matter. Anyways, I am free.