There’s this song I love by Zeds Dead, Lights Go Down that describes my thing with this guy I like too much. So much, that I have literally every remix of it on my playlist. If you listen to it, you will understand this blog.
Last night, he asked if he could come over. He called me on his way to make sure I still wanted him to come over… What? Was I not clear when I said yes? Ok, I’ll give him a break. He doesn’t know yet that I really mean what I say. Smart ass me said, “Unless you don’t want to”. We kept talking about where we were that night and with whom. I told him I was with my friends he knows and another one. He asked me if my friends knew about him…
A ton of things went through my mind. Specifically, we are girls, we talk about all that. Of course they know! I explained they know I see him sometimes. Was I supposed to keep it a secret?
Apparently, I was.
He called me his “Dirty Little Secret” and started singing the song… I thought it was cute but at the same time I was sure our thing was not serious at all. I don’t know if I feel relieved or what… I am not sad or hurt. It’s weird.[ So now I’m go to refer to him as DLS.]
For someone that is looking for a relationship, I’m ok with it. Maybe it is because once becomes too real, I freak out. Or it is because I am getting the attention I am looking for?
I am pretty independent. I don’t like people trying to keep tabs on me and I don’t keep tabs on anybody. I do like availability. One thing I love about DLS is, he answers right away. Almost immediately. I appreciate that! Even though we rarely talk through text, just to meet up, the fact that he doesn’t leave me waiting hours for a response is refreshing. On the other hand, he doesn’t bother me. He texts me to meet. So it is like a booty call! 🤣 I am totally ok with this because he brings ZERO drama to my life.
Also when we do hang out, I feel we are close, like a couple, even when we are not. This is the part that I miss about a relationship. Pillow talk, hugging, falling asleep next to each other. And I still get the freedom of doing what I want. I know I might be a bit more loyal than the typical guy. I find my life being balanced too when I have this type of relationship. So I guess I’ll keep being his Dirty Little Secret until it last. Or I get tired of it.