Sometimes I just want to disconnect

Today has been a weird day. I had to take care of work projects at 7am and I got up late, being there by 8am, so I’ve been running an hour behind schedule on my non scheduled day… shocker. I did what I was asked to help with and my associates and I got into the conversation about husbands. Great!

I work with older ladies that had been married for…EVER! and one’s anniversary is next week. I said “I’m glad I don’t have those anymore”, without thinking this statement was leading to a lot of questioning that I thought I was super ready to answer.

Maybe not…

That’s why I’m writing this blog while listening to EDM inside my car in the middle of nowhere. Actually, no. I’ve been wanting to come here since I got divorced, but for some reason I never have. I’m glad I finally made it.

There are tons of memories I want to erase or replace. This being one. I came to a place I had a great time at and now I’m replacing that happy memory with the fact that I’m here, alone right now.

It was random. I wanted to get to the mountain. Yea, that was my thought, but I ended up at the lake. I’m not even dressed to be here! I’m wearing long sleeved shirt and a skirt! The reason?

Of all the questions I got asked there were two that strucked me the most. First, “Are you glad your ex doesn’t live here anymore?” Immediately my answer was “Of course!”. With my luck, I will be running into him all the time. The second, and the one that made me think, “Do you still love him?”… Well, I didn’t really answer. All I said was I was too proud to try when I was told I couldn’t do anything to fix my marriage. Was I? Maybe… But I didn’t really feel like trying anymore.

Do I love him? Fuck no! Disappointment killed any love immediately.

Am I over divorce? Probably not. It takes a while… I can’t believe how long taking…

Now time to go back to reality, it literally just texted. So much for being in the middle of nowhere!

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