I still can’t believe I found you. You and I are perfectly imperfect for each other. I don’t know what you did to me, but this feelings and emotions are not fading with the time or distance. On the other hand, they keep growing. Everyday I love you more. Every day, you surprise me with things you do for us. Not just for me. There is no place for selfishness here. For the first time in my life I also think of us. I make plans for us. It might be a little bith hard at first but we will make it work. You always find a way… and so do I. You also found ways to make me change the person that I’ve always been. It is hard, but with you I have learned to be patient and less rough. I still am, but you always stop me, and most importantly, I let you. You know why? Because I would never forgive myself if I hurt you. I might have said little things and I’m sorry, but like you say, it’s ways I have been dragging with me. I never meant to do it purposely.
It is hard to explained what I felt today. I’ve never felt this way before. You make me so happy! I love everything about you! EVERYTHING. But the crazy things you come up with, I freaking adore! Your laugh… You just warm my heart! Sometimes you make me cry… Not because I’m sad, au contraire, from immense happiness. There are no words to describe how happy I feel I found you… You are everything I want, and need. I will be saying it till the end of times.
Just dropping a quick note to you. Thanks for doing all the crazy things I ask you to do. You are amazing. I feel proud to call you my lucky bastard. The ONE I’ve been waiting for so long. It’s funny, I fell asleep while writing this. I think this is my straight connection to you. It’s symbolic and the way that I feel you here. Thanks for always been there. Everyday I feel you closer to me. Thanks for not giving up on us. I’ll be here indefinitely, I’m never giving up on us because we are meant to be together. We are soulmates. It’s proven EVERYDAY. I love you and us and whatever the future brings for us! I am ready.
Right now, I don’t even know how I’m feeling. As before, sometimes you look at the specific situation instead of a whole. For someone obsessed with the macro scale, it seems to me you are getting caught on yourself. On how you see things. How it affects YOU. You are right, you do million of little things that nobody has done for me. I am greatful and I love it. But times like this, you are doing what everybody has done for me… Not exactly seeing things from my perspective. Maybe I am difficult and asking too much, I don’t know. Or maybe I’m just a bit less selfish or egocentric than you. Since I found you, I knew I had to change some ways in my life. Even before we had a relationship, I knew. I didn’t have to have you to know that I wanted to be better for you. I needed to clean up the mess in my life in order for me to possibly be able to allow you fully in. You didn’t have to ask. There were things that yes, you managed to expedite, but because I cared about how you felt, I did. Truth is, since the very first time I saw you, I knew my life had to change in order to have you. It just me, and this is how I am. Unfortunately I expect the same. Maybe I shouldn’t, but I do. There are certain things that make up a relationship (any) and in my case WWJD (What would Jae do) is how I expect my partner make choices by. I adapt the same philosophy. I treat people how I want to be treated. I do things considering others feelings, especially my partner (term that I actually HATE). I rather call you my significant other. I’ve had many partners throughout the years and none of them made me choose to change. You, on the other hand, never ask me to make the decision, I just decided that I would put aside my very fun and eventful lifestyle for a chance to be happy, that I didn’t even know it could exist. I took a risk. It paid off. That may be why it’s hard for me to understand why I have to ask in order for your to reciprocate my behavior. You should just think like me in certain situations…
You have no idea how much I love when you write to me! It feels amazing to read you OVER and OVER! It is crazy because I know I read it but every time I read it I just fall more in love with you. Maybe it is because NOBODY has done anything like that… And your style… I just love it! I can describe how good it makes me feel! If I miss you, I read you and it is like you are there. Maybe it is because I think imagination is the most wonderful thing… but in reality, you pour your feelings into paper, or well, an email. You allow me into your head, because sometimes we express ourself better through writing. You have no idea how much I love it. Never stop. You are great at it. I enjoy it. I fucking love you… more every day. I can’t wait for the day that we finally get to be together, for good. This is forever. YOU are my happy ever after. Yes, I am corny and I can’t help it. I am so glad I found you. So glad. I will never let you go. Hang on, because this is going to be a very exciting ride. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. And wouldn’t share it with nobody else. You are the ONE lucky bastard.
Today I missed you too. There were things that had me thinking. Also, I was stupid to not tell you. You are probably the one person that is capable of untangle the mess that sometimes I have in my head. When I do tell you think, I feel relax. I feel like that because you are there, with me. You listen and walk me through. You assure me I have many options. You tell me what I’ve told you. You not just give advice, but make me realize I’ve been through worse things and I made it. I can do this. And for the first time in my life, you tell me we will get through, together. You tell me you are there for me because we are a team. I never had heard this words from a guy. Never. Everything has always been “you” can or “you” have to. That “We” is absolutely precious. You are precious! I will never let “US” go.
Maybe everything happens for a reason. Today is an important day. Four years ago, you decided to change your life and become a better man. Maybe this day, this year, should be a day that you make that decision again. Maybe today is the day that you leave all your past behind. All the resentment behind. There are situations that you can never change. The past is the past, and you won’t be able to move forward if your are not actually moving forward. Maybe this is a positive thing… And life is giving you the opportunity to start with a clean slate. CLEAN. Sometimes we victimize ourselves too much and don’t see the feelings of the other person. Somebody that, like us, also put in the time. That time that it’s forever gone. Like us, they will never get it back. Sometimes we have to be considerate. Be mature, be an adult. What didn’t work in life FOR YOU, doesn’t mean it didn’t work for the other part. I sure can relate to the feeling of somebody telling you the relationship doesn’t work out for them when I am content with it. There are so many questions that go through ones mind… Since when? Why am I just being informed now? Am I dreaming? Is this a nightmare? Wtf? You start doubting your whole life, and realize it may had been a lie. Worst feeling ever, and you know why? Because the other person kept that from me. Sure, my situation was way less complicated and I also had the balls to take initiative and go through the absolute end. That takes courage. Especially coming from someone that is terrified of failing. I failed. But it was blessing in disguise. I found myself afterwards. And I was able to find you. Right now, that’s all I want. You. I want all of you, and some of your backpack. There is a huge stone you are carrying that you can’t let go because you are focusing on things that are done. You resent things. Why? Because the other person never changed for you? Guess what, as of all people, should know people don’t change unless they want to. Sometimes, we are selfish and don’t think of the things we put others through. Some people love too much to not walk away. Or realized they promised to stay “for the bad and the good”. Some are selfless and sacrifice for the good someone else. Regardless of the reason, the other part has to appreciate. Appreciate their time, their effort, their resilience, their dedication. As I say, it’s always easier to point out the bad about others without looking at the good. Most of the time the good can’t be compensated. You keep saying you want to become a better man for me. Start now. No old resentment. Appreciate what was done in the past and move on. Close up that chapter like the greatest man of all. In the end, without all those experiences, you wouldn’t be the man I love. The rest, we will figure it out together.
Sometimes I feel like we are so similar but yet so different. There are things we don’t see eye to eye. Sometimes it’s so hard for me to understand but I try. I seriously do… I try because I love you and I want you in my life. Maybe there are some things you might think I know nothing about. You might be right, I may have never experienced them but it doesn’t mean I don’t understand them… I understand both sides of the spectrum. But where there is a double standard, I don’t understand. When one is expected to do something, but the other doesn’t hold up to the same expectations, I don’t get it. That’s where I get stuck. That’s where I see myself maybe walking away. It might be the easy path, but I’ve learned there might be stronger bonds I won’t break and I don’t intend to either. I don’t want to compete. I don’t want to make you choose. I know the obvious choice. All I want you to do is, understand how I see things. I am so selfless that I’m not even caring about my own happiness… but I’m willing to sacrifice that for you to keep a stronger bond than ours. The way I see it… Somehow your communication with him is broken. You have to fix it. Maybe you need to set your own set of rules. A structure, with you. I had one growing up… But he has TWO homes now. That might be difficult… but it’s also an opportunity for him to get some kind of freedom, and for you to create a stronger bond, without any other stress… No tension between you and her… You are separated? Right? Now you get YOUR OWN space with him. OUR LIFE, OUR RULES, remember? Between YOU TWO. Anyways… I know nothing. I’m just a liberal girl that doesn’t know anything about parenting… I’ll tell you something: I was a daughter once. I had rules I had to abide or else. But I also had trust. I was fully trusted. I am proud to say I never made a decision it lead to trouble. I had freedom, but I was so well raised that anything bad crossed my mind. My parents were married, but there were some things I could do with my mom under her rules, and others I could do under my dad rules. Still on the same household. But, I don’t know shit. So just do it your way.
I can’t begin to say how much I appreciate your support. It means a lot. Having you it’s the most amazing feeling. Even for a go getter like me, sometimes I don’t know how to start. You make me think everything it’s possible. You calm me down… Thank you for being yourself. I love you so much! (You already know) I will never get tired of showing you how much you mean to me. You make days like yesterday seem bright. Every day you I am sure that you are the one I want to spend my life with.
From our conversation today I learned not only a lot about you, but also about myself. Yes, you are absolutely correct. I am passionate about writing. I like describing things as I think of them because for me its easier to write them down than to vocalize them. It is weird because you make it really easy for me to tell you anything. You are the first person that I am not scared to tell anything I think. I know sometimes it’s difficult to hear the things that come out of my mouth, but I have never felt this way with anybody. Every single day, I fall more in love with you. I thought this might never be possible, but it is. You just make me feel more special everyday. I can’t measure how much, but I know that I have to reciprocate, and that’s what I do. You made me be who I really am. By finding and knowing you, I find myself along the way. Thank you for being who you are. I am proud you are mine.
Our movie date was amazing yesterday. We haven’t talk too much about it but I have some questions for you. I know sometimes I come up with this out of the box ideas or unconventional solutions to make our distance seem shorter… but thank you for going along with them baby. It seems crazy, but it works. While it definitely won’t replace how I feel when I have you close to me, it’s pretty close. But you know why it is? Because you make an effort. Thank you for loving me.
To the man I love: I miss you.
I have replayed your video and your songs probably a million times already.
Soulmates? Yes, we are. I don’t tell you all the times that you say either something I am use to say or exactly what I’m thinking at the moment. We are soulmates… for the first time in my life I can say I fall in love everyday again with something new about you. I have been used to just disappointments, but you my love, are better than what I imagine my dreamed man to be.
I love you good and your “bad”. The good things are great but the “bad” are what it’s going to make me a better person for you. By the way, I’m still waiting to see your “bad”.
I could be busy and not available to talk to you at times, but truth is, you still always in my mind. I miss you everyday. I wish I could be next to you, because that’s where I belong.
I admire your passion for absolutely everything you do and like.
You have a beautiful smize! [google it.]
You are EVERY LITTLE THING I want in a beautiful package. I might be the luckiest girl in the world!
Yes, you are the lucky bastard! 🤣
Fyi, all the voice messages that you sing to me, I starred and listen to if I miss you.
Did you know the 1st time you said “Love you” was the day I left? It took my 5 mins to process what I just heard. I also couldn’t believe I was already having the same emotions and feelings for you. How was this possible? I have that message “starred”, and I played it everytime I missed you on my flight back home. I don’t know what you did to me…
I can’t believe I found the one I was always thought would never exist.
I don’t know how you do it, but when I’m with you, I can’t focus on anything else.